The Darkness
by ThereIsAlwaysDarkness
Summary: Darkness (noun) : is the partial or total absence of light. He was left alone by his father. He is hated by his mother. He envelops the darkness, but will the light ever appear? Warning : Suggestive themes, mentions of suicide and abuse.


**The Darkness**

* * *

He winces as his mother yells words that shouldn't be yelled at a 8 year old.

He's trying, he really is trying. He has all A's, one of the top students in his class. Isn't his mom satisfied?

Another stream of dark words make him wince, of course not, because he's not the best. No matter how hard he tries. No matter how long he spends his time studying. It doesn't matter to her.

_**He is not the best.**_

That is all the matters to her. After she finishes yelling, her fingers twitch, like she's tempted to beat him. He looks down. He just wanted her to be proud of him, to say something that would make him feel like this never ending battle was actually worth it. But instead, she abuses him, not physically, but mentally. Inside, he feels like he is utterly useless. He feels like a waste of space. He feels like a nobody.

She leaves. His heart breaks. He lies down on his bed, and falls asleep through his tears.

* * *

The next day, when the raven haired boy walks to school, he sees her, the top student in his class. He sees her say goodbye to her parents, who give her a kiss on the forehead. He sees her then runs over to her friends, and they laugh together and walk to school. The parents share a quick kiss, get back in the car and drive away. Jealousy grips his heart like a vise.

Why couldn't his family be like that? Why did his dad leave him alone? Why couldn't his mother be proud of him? He felt nauseous for the rest of the day.

With dark thoughts clouding his mind, he was startled when a paper seemed to magically appear on his desk. It was the test. The one he didn't get to study for because of his mother. He wants to cry. He wants to scream his heart out. But who cares about him? Hot tears dripping from his eyes, he tries to complete it. But it's not good enough. He doesn't know what the test is talking about.

Despair is the only feeling he is experiencing right now. He is drowning. He curses the world, the world is cruel. But it doesn't matter.

_**No one cares**_

When he comes back home, his mother yells at him again. Dark words that make him feel like he should just die. Dark words that stirred thoughts that shouldn't stir in an innocent 8 year old. That night was when he started cutting himself. The first thing he cared into his arm?

_**I am alone**_

* * *

Here he was in 7th grade, a social outcast, who walked 3 miles everyday to get to school because his mom didn't care for him, who skipped lunch because he didn't have money to buy it for himself. The girl was here too.

Oh how he hated her. He hated how she was so perfect. He hated her curly blonde hair. He hated how she was a perfect grade A student, had a loving family, had caring friends. He hated her, but secretly longed for what she had.

He still got good grades, but not as well as before. His mother had gotten worse, sometimes ignoring him for long periods of time. Which wouldn't have been so bad except for the fact that he needed to eat.

He lived in a rundown home, with no electricity, no water, with nothing. His mom worked a meager job. Only spending the money on herself. He saw her, wearing pretty make-up, going out to clubs, with suggestive clothing, and coming back with drunk men. He left the house and slept in the park on those nights. He wore his threadbare shirt to school everyday and made sure to roll down the sleeves to cover the scars.

* * *

The second he turned 18, his mom kicked him out of the house.

No surprise there. He had no money, he had no place to go. He was left wandering the world. 2 years living like this does something to a person. He stole for food. He ambushed people in alleyways to get money. He slept in the park in the bushes on a cardboard mat.

How he hated her. He hated how unappreciative she was of him. He hated how she didn't feed him. He hated how no matter how hard he tried, she rejected him. But most of all,

_**He hated his father. **_

He was the one left me

he was the one who had a one-night stand with her and left her to me.

He is the reason I am here right now, living in the streets, stealing people's money, eating scraps of what people throw away.

He hates his father with a passion. He pulled out the same knife he used to cut himself when he was 8. He was so tired of this world.

He hated it. The world had no mercy. The world didn't care about anyone. He slowly lifted it over his heart.

He saw a girl walking through the park. It didn't matter. He would be dead anyway.

He stabbed himself. He felt hot pain sear through his body. It didn't even faze him.

He heard a scream. The darkness started to cloud around him. He laughed. His life was always full of it. As a child, teenager, adult, he never experienced anything other than it. How fitting that it would also take him from this cruel world.

So much for being enveloped by white light. He laughed again. Hilarious. There was no light for him. There was only one place for him and he knew where it was. It was hell. He heard an ambulance coming, and let the darkness cloud around him, but right before, he could have swore he saw a flash of blonde.


End file.
